The Question Behind The Question

I was recently laid off from my job when a government contract dissolved unexpectedly. The lay-off was a huge shock, because I’d only started with the company four months earlier, and I was looking forward to a long, productive relationship with my new colleagues.

I cried, I freaked out, I drove around for weeks with the contents of my office in the trunk of my car. I did pull myself together enough, however, to file a claim with the Employment Commission, who promptly sent me a letter denying me unemployment benefits because according to my employer’s records, I didn’t earn income for two consecutive quarters.

Sure enough, the paperwork showed that I while I earned money in the 3^rd quarter of 2010, I earned zero dollars in the 4^th quarter of 2010. So I sent a friendly, “what gives?” e-mail to my former boss. Her reply was equally friendly: yeah, she couldn’t report 4^th quarter information yet because the payroll company always works one quarter behind.

Now most people instantly grasp that I didn’t contact my boss to learn about the intricacies of payroll reporting. Her answer left me as much in the dark as before.

By responding only to the immediate issue, she missed the Question behind the question, and that’s where you often get to the heart of a person’s true need. Imagine how different her response would have felt if my boss got to the root of my question by adding, “I’ll call them tomorrow to expedite a form to Employment Services and let you know when it’s OK to re-file your claim,” or even “So sorry, but there’s nothing I can do until next quarter.”

The Take-Away: Don’t assume that people will ask the right questions – for tons of reasons, they may not be able to. When you take on some of the responsibility for understanding the underlying need, you demonstrate respect and the clear a path for better results in the future.